”“I agree,” I said, nodding. “But really, what matters in this case, is what you think, not what I think or society thinks. At least if you want to progress past where we are now.”“I’m not quite sure what to think. Or quite sure what I want. Well, that’s not quite true. Physically, I’d love to have you right now. However, mentally and emotionally, that’s a different question that I’m not quite sure of the answer to. Honestly, we could go into my room right now and probably have a fantastic time, but I don’t want to just have sex. I want a deeper experience than that. I want our spirits, our Atman, to merge, not just our bodies.”“That’s a pretty tall order, Anala,” I said.“And yet, that level of bliss is possible. I’m guessing, because we’ve not discussed the details, that we are compatible. I am vadavas and I suspect you are vrisha.”“Sorry, I don’t remember those terms,” I said.“You are about average size, not huge. I am average size, so we should be compatible.”I chuckled, “I’ve been. Hazy. Am I dreaming? Am I thinking? Purr. Cat next to head, at edge of bed. Sleepy...Warm. Fidgeting. Not quite awake, but not dreaming. High school. Not easy. Eyes closed, smiling softly at a memory of cheerleader glory. Chuckle. I look so much better now. Smile back to sleep.Eyes snap open. Stomach dropping flash of fear in high school. Inner voice telling me I was a coward.A little more awake. Was it cowardice, or a lack of imagination on how to get out of the safe space of jocks and cheerleaders?Shiver. Wait ... something is reassuring. Body heat. Sound of calm breathing. Such a rare sound for me. Sure, I was sexually active in high school, but never slept with anyone for more than a few minutes. Not much better when more active in college, still not right to sleep with people. I had fuck toys, and sometimes damn good fuck toys, but no lovers.Could I have had a lover? My body just said yes, when I felt my muscles jolt. Maybe it could have been Marie. No, it should have been Curt..
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